So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think i have two assholes
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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