tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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