so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A+ Viking dick
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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