I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
