They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
