I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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