So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize