So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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