two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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