Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize