i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
