Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
