You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
