he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
where are my eyebrows?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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