I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
