he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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