Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
