so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
