Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
