Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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