Kiss
Puke
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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