i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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