I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
