That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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