i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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