you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize