did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
