Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
