"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize