i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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