He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
