Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
