Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
