The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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