I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Randomize
