I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
