I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
