I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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