Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
