I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
