well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize