Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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