Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
