8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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