Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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