am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How naked do you want me to be?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
