You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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