Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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