Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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