i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize