is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
