I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
