they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
