I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
