Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
