you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
