You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
