lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
