just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
