There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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