I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
