I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize