I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
