i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
