We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
