Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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