My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
