weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
