do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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