i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
