is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
