Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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