My ATM looks so different sober.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Found the puke drawer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
