Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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