we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
