Have you finally orgasmed yet?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
