Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This gyro tastes like lonliness
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
