i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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