Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
