U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
