we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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